She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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