Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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