i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He kissed a someone with a penis
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
