Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
