The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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