This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
