I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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