yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
