Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
