Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
