I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Randomize
