the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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