i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize