Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
