am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
