Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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