The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
porn star boner night. come get it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just pee around me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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