Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is Oprah even human
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
