I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
