I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
