Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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