I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
