apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
