Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found puke in my bra..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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