Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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