so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
