the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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