I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
