Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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