Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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