when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
