Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
