So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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