ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
