i jhust puked up my retainher.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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