I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
