I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You were trust falling into bushes
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
