I wish you could order shots online.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
