well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
This house was built for laser tag.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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