it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
