NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
