Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize