Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize