Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
