After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
