She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize