Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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