In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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