normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
