So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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