I got her a Nickelback box set.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
