"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
