miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
