No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
