Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
