This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
