Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
