she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
