I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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