I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
