if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
