plz talk dirty to me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
